The Pains of Accepting a Failed Relationship!

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In college I was in a relationship with someone I thought I would grow old with. I just knew we would graduate college and start our lives together and live happily ever after! YUPPPPP, i was wrong! LOL! After two years of being together, he became everything I wished I never had. 


Him and I had become what felt like #RelationshipGoalsand we knew it. We loved each other and it showed in every picture we took. The long captions, the heart eyes under every picture, me attending all of his footballs games and making cute shirts with his name…yeah i did it all. Reflecting back I realized I thrived off being my own relationship goals; I loved posting our pictures all on social media. I loved it so much that when we ended, the hardest part of fully letting him go was erasing our pictures off of my social media pages. Crazy right? But it’s true. Our pictures was the last thing I had that still linked me to him. And I struggled with letting them go, like I struggled with letting him go. 

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It’s hard being young, in love and carefree. You fall hard for someone just to find out that he may not be the one who helps pick you up. Especially if you didn’t want the relationship to end like i did.


I failed myself as a young woman by not preparing myself to possibly live without him one day. 


It’s true what they say, “if you stay ready you don’t have to get ready”. “What happens if me and him are no longer are together, what would life be like for me”? If I would have asked myself that question while still in that relationship I’m certain I would have transitioned out of it much better. But I was so naive at 22. I didn’t realize that sometimes relationships don’t work out and that’s okay. The breakup left me hurt, angry, and ashamed because I felt like I had failed. My world seemed like it had been flipped upside down but that was because I let it. I didn’t prepare for reality. 

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I cried about it, cried some more, and then cried a lot more. “Nothing, we just grew apart” had become my quick go to answer for all the inquiring minds. I drowned myself back into my school work to keep my mind off it. But I didn’t beg for him to come back;  my pride was too big for that. I was determined to figure out how to accept a failed relationship. 

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Fast forward to some years later at age 24, I found solace through isolation from social media and major talks with God. I learned that apart of growing up means accepting change and learning to manage your emotions accordingly. As a mental health therapist I have seen first hand how a difficult situation can be a trigger to someones depression or anxiety. We often operate off of emotions and allow them to dictate our thoughts and actions. However, this is not healthy. How we feel mentally and emotionally makes up majority of our overall health. If we neglect to accept reality and live within stress or difficult periods in our lives, that essentially is where we stop growing as a human beings. It’s normal to feel hurt and pain but it’s not normal to stay there. 


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I truly believe God gives us hardships we feel is unbearable but behind every setback is a lesson! Yeah failure hurts but the true victory is how you bounce back from it! I am forever thankful for that relationship. He helped me form a stronger relationship with God and I realized I’m going to make an awesome wife one day, lol.


So to my readers: Whatever you may be going through currently or have gone through in the past, I’m certain you will realize later how it has developed you into a stronger individual. & It’s okay if you feel pains along your process, we’re human; we’re supposed too! Like my mama says, “it gets greater later”! I’m sending lots of love and positive vibes to all my readers! 


Thanks for Reading!

Peace, Blessings, & Therapy,

Alicia.

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