Sometimes you have to “check” ya friends too, PERIOD!


I’ll be the first say I don’t allow just anyone to “check” me! BUT, I’ve learned that I need to be checked sometimes…scratch that, lately; a lot of times! As much as I try to live like I do, I don’t have all the answers for my life! Sometimes my decision making sucks simply because I don’t like to vent and ask for help with my current obstacles in life. I rather not admit to my friends that lately I have been settling and feeling like I deserve more! Thankfully my friends have seen past that and have been checking me, for me!   



Check on your friends

It’s so important  to check in with your girls! We are all on our own journey in life either from being full time mothers, workers, entrepreneurs, and so forth! I know how busy life can be so I know even more how stressful life can get! That’s when we need our friendships the most! In times of stress, our decision making can get blurred. We began to make poor decisions that usually aren’t in our character! A few examples include drinking and partying more, becoming promiscuous slacking off at work or at other daily obligations like church, or she’s isolating and not hanging out with the clique as much, she’s becoming unmotivated, or she’s accepting less and settling in undeserving relationships.   


Check’ya Friends

The sooner we check our friends the better! Check ya friends egos and check ya friends standards! We have to do better about holding each other accountable for our actions or actions we haven’t taken! Sometimes we can begin to believe that we deserve the shitty end of the stick but all it’ll take for you to snap out of that, is a friend to remind you that no, actually you don’t and that you shouldn’t accept it! 



Friends can see us through lenses that of course we can’t see! They see how badass you are and how you can prosper through whatever has you feeling defeated! Friends remind you of your strengths and positive attributes and can help you fight through self doubt and offer you different perspectives!  



If you notice a friend is acting out of their character, don’t be afraid to let them know. If you notice your friend isn’t being the same friend they normally are to you, make them aware of it! Start the conversation for them. They may want to have the same conversation but can be reluctant too out of fear, shame, guilt, depression, anger, and so forth. Listen to them. Even if you can’t problem solve with them, just listen and be supportive. Communication will forever be key.

When you see your friend not living in her full potential, give her a gentle reminder to! Send her motivational posts and memes to ignite that flame you know she still has within. 



& most importantly, when you see your friend putting up with something or someone you know she shouldn’t, remind her of her worth and her standards. Sure, she may get defensive and think you’re hating and not take your advice, but at least you did what any caring friend should; you spoke up!

Being able to be transparent in friendships can be therapeutic. As a therapist, I am always encouraging my clients to seek out and be inviting of their friend groups. Sometimes talking to a friend and being reminded of who you are can be the best FREE therapy there is! Take advantage of it and remember to check in and check’ya friends!

Thanks for reading!


Peace, blessings & therapy,


Alicia. 

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